Well, once I'd sworn not to head out in such slippery climes until any offspring are old enough to fend for themselves, I set about making good the damage (not wanting to wait for the manufacturer to get around to fixing things, given their age).
Simplest was the softshell, which dates from the early days of a certain North London purveyor of cycling apparel, back in the days when they had sample sales in that posh urban bicycle shop off Oxford Street. It dates from the two shoulder patch days, if that helps, and predates both the Squadra and the Croissant. It returns with a series of slashes and holes in each elbow. How to fix? Well, I lack the tumble dryer, but a couple of patches of this seems to have done the trick.
Next, the hour-old bright pink gilet. I note that there is a correlation between this safety kit and a spill, but we can argue it is statistically insignificant for now. Some ripstop sail tape was ordered from the internet, but before this, a quick stitch with some invisible thread found in the sewing box (yes, I know) and some clear Tenacious Tape made things good in a jiffy. When the days grow lighter it will return to its maker for a proper fix up.
Closer to home, a Nottingham manufacturer of medical products had supplied me with some hydrocolloid dressings, which had been knocking about since the Team Bike days. A patch to the arm, and the solid red graze which was constantly being knocked seems to be on the mend.